Mental Health & the Stigma Behind It
I think we all struggle with mental health issues whether we want to admit it or not. The human brain is so interesting in the way it works and the way it convinces us that we are not good enough or not worthy of love.
I have been struggling with mental health issues all of my life. It started in elementary school when kids used to pick on me because of my skin color (that lasted all the way to college btw) and the fact that my dad was not in the picture since he died before I was born.
Middle school came along and it actually wasn't that bad. I always had trouble making a friend group but I did have friends. After that, High school. And it was one of the worst times of my life but not as bad as college, we’ll get to that later.
High school really showed me how alone I was. I know you see the cliques in the movies and I thought it was fake but it's not. Everyone has their own group and if you're not in the group, it's just weird, awkward, and embarrassing. At least that’s what I thought.
College happened and everything went downhill. I had a group of friends for the first time in my life and I was so happy. We all cut ties pretty quickly and to this day I'm not sure why but that sent me into a deep depression.
I went to therapy for the first time and was so thankful I did. This is a brief timeline of some of the struggles I have had to overcome. I have had many thoughts about suicide and just ending it because I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt like no one could ever love me because of how broken I am but I’d be lying to you if I said I was fine now.
That’s the thing about mental health, your journey is not linear. You can be fine for a few months then get back into that dark place you once were for another few months, maybe a year. It's unpredictable, incredibly hard, and so beyond draining.
I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I had a method for you to use to cope with the pain but I don’t. My point in writing this is not for your sympathy (I honestly don't want or need it.) It's for you to know that you are never alone.
Your mental health is not something you should be ashamed or embarrassed about. I know it is so cliche to say but you are really not alone. (I guess I should take my own advice lol) But really, my social media links are above and below each page. PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out. I know what it's like to be or feel alone but as long as you are a part of Self Reflect, you never will be.
